Reclaiming Your Identity
How Not to Define Yourself by Your Interests
The search for identity is embedded in the human spirit. With identity comes purpose, community, and a sense of direction. Identity says this is where I’m from, what I believe, what I do, and who my community is. Identity creates structure and comfort – plus, it’s fun to celebrate the different communities we’re a part of. But like anything else, and especially in the social media era, we can develop an unhealthy obsession with our identity, causing us to be consumed with and then solely defined by the expectations those communities bring with them. If we aren’t careful, this obsession can leave us walking around looking and feeling a little brainwashed, like we’ve lost who we are and like we’ve lost our way.
Race, nationality, ethnicity, regional cultures, and religion are the places people have traditionally looked to find and establish their identity. In modern times, we find identity in other things like music taste and the sports teams we follow: Manchester United, the Yankees and Knicks, and the Dodgers and Lakers have some of the most ravenous fans in history, and that’s precisely what those fans want to be known for. They’ll fight each other in drunken brawls, get tattoos of the teams and their favorite players (tattoos that will still be there long after player A gets traded to rival team B!), and make complete fools of themselves not for a sport or team they play on themselves, but to show support for the team they identify with. These fans (short for fanatics?) feel a part of something big, something great, and they are all in.
There are now more ways than ever to seek out direction and purpose in our quest for identity. Social media is a fertile ground for our interests to help us find others who share them. There are more communities and subgroups than ever before, which is great. But because it’s social media it also invites 10x the opportunity to become an obsession.
Some of the most popular content online is financial, health and wellness, and relationships. Crypto, investing, and entrepreneurship have huge followings. Keto, carnivore, fasting, yoga, and CrossFit have had exponential growth. People don’t just enjoy these things; they define themselves by them. It’s how they introduce themselves, it’s on their shirts, and it’s in their social media bios.
Controversial comedian Andrew Schultz had an interesting take on this. In The Brilliant Idiots podcast he co-hosts with radio and media star Charlamagne tha God, he stated that he thinks these new sources for identity-seekers have emerged because traditional religion is becoming increasingly unpopular. There is some truth to this theory. Pew Research reported that the largest group in America are the religious “nones.” These are the people who don’t identify with any religion. So, it seems that as more people are growing away from traditional groups, they’re exploring new ones that touch the spiritual, emotional, and physical aspects of ourselves.
While exploring new ways to express ourselves or to better ourselves are fantastic pursuits, remember a few things to avoid becoming that insufferable friend at the cocktail party.
Remember, this is social media. Social media spends billions of dollars and uses the best minds of our generation to find a way into our brains. Their algorithms go beyond the psychology of marketing and targets our dopamine and self-esteem, putting us in either a zombie state with the infinite scroll or a constant state of flight or fight. That rabbit hole we discuss sometimes takes us to a world we can’t escape. Many people who found themselves believing in a variety of recent well-publicized conspiracy theories stated that it all started with watching a few videos online.
Less can be more. Because many new interests originated and grew in popularity online, everything is branded. This means that the influencers have courses and merch that they sell, and their supporters buy it in droves. Everyone loves to represent what they like, be it anime or fishing, but it can quickly become showy and excessive. This isn’t to take away from the fun of fandom, but it’s always a good rule to chill a little.
Remember yourself. If you don’t take anything else away from this – take this. Be you, not what someone tells you you should be. Becoming too obsessed with interests can leave people lost and actually lose their identity in their quest to find it. They will become so much of an evangelist to their new communities that they stop sounding like themselves and start looking a little like a caricature of what they’re trying to represent. There will be times when you like an opposing thing or disagree with some of the ideas of that community, and that’s okay. It’s healthy to maintain your sense of self in the pursuit of your identity.
Try those new things and have a blast trying them! Become a part of communities that allow and encourage personal growth and meet more like-minded people. But remember, as much as social media is a fantastic way to connect, it’s also the quickest way to become disconnected.
